Written by Doublethink ( 30/4/08 )
Big Brother is at it's finest when the most exciting stuff happens outside of the house. In the last 24 hours we have seen the Launch of BB08, 2 new hosts, 14 new housemates and an eviction, but that pales into insignificance.
Midget Porn....that's right! the most exciting thing to come to Big Brother in 2008....Midget porn in the form of Rima the squirrel sized housemate who has a penchant for disrobing and showing the world what a midget Vag looks like. By all accounts she has one on her like a mouse's ear.
Meanwhile the ubiquitous slob Kyle Sandilands is so deluded and chuffed about the perceived success of the Launch Show that he is about to snap. He was seen straight after the Launch working his way down the corridor "high-fiving" the staff and when they ran out, he even high-fived his own reflection in the glass.
The legendary fathead is known to own a powder blue suit with a large V on the front. "I'm my own Viagra" Kyle would say to the mirror, then get hard and get it on. The unflappable buffoon was called into the producers room and told the bad news, that the Launch Show posted the lowest ratings ever for Big Brother. Unperturbed, Kyle ...true to form ignored rejection and left the meeting visibly erect.
Finally the most bizarre fact of all has come to light. Channel 10 has now employed a person to walk beside Kyle, whispering into his ear "Kyle, you are only a God in Australia".
Who really needs the Big Brother Freak Show when the world around it is far stranger.
Little by little Kyle steals our hopes and ransacks our dreams
No comments:
Post a Comment