Big Brother tattooed trucker housemate tells of alien anal probe

Written by Doublethink ( 27/4/08 )

Hearing that a Big Brother Housemate is a heavily tattooed trucker who believes in UFO's had me desperately wanting to know more. So I joined the "Tatts, Trucks & UFO's" forum and discovered what I believed to be his harrowing tale.

Here it is and in his own words.....


"I was late leaving Melbourne, my rig was fully loaded, I was heading to Adelaide and all I could think about is getting my next tatt...a unicorn with it's horn piercing my nipple. It was just like any other trip I had taken 3 No Doz, drank 14 Red Bulls, popped some speed to keep awake and at 2.30 AM a lime green giraffe overtook me near Kaniva, nothing out of the ordinary.

But I was about to cross the border and enter South Australia, strange things have been known to go on there and little was I to know what was going to happen to me. For the last 3 ghostly hours I have had a urge to have a shit, but suddenly the pressure really built up. I didn't want to stop, truckers have been known to leave their rig for a shit in SA and never come back.

Wiping the sweat from my brow, I pulled into the deserted Bordertown Roadhouse and ran to the concrete toilet block out back. Bursting in the blinding light hit me, I squinted as I hit the cubicle door with my pants half down and my bum pointing towards the porcelain.

It was then that I first felt it. No sooner had my turd stuck out like a turtles neck that I felt a stange force pushing it back in. I heaved harder and again some alien force was pushing it back in. Then I heard a chilling foreign alien voice say "excuse me sir.....I think you will find I was here first". Jumping up, I saw that I was sitting on the lap of an alien and the probe he had was at least 7 inches long.

He introduced himself as Klaatu and said he was from 3, Planet 3. When he said "would you like to explore Planet 3, I can make you see your Big Brother anytime", I freaked and made for my rig. My turd was lost somewhere between the toilet block and the first step of my rig as I ran screaming with my trousers around my ankles.

Back in the Adelaide depot, shit stained and trying to explain myself to the unbelievers I knew I had to find a way to get on TV and tell my story. It was then that I saw an ad calling for auditions for Big Brother.

Saxon "



There you have it, what a story!
Truth is stranger than fiction