You gotta luv the audacious duplicity of midget Rima and her brother Imaan. On the one hand they are big on "I want to be seen as a person, not just for my height", yet both of them exploit the "oddness" of their miniscule stature.
Rima pops up as a toy ballerina as if she was a human musical box & her belly dancing is of no qualitative value if it were not for her lack of height.
Imaan, Rima's brother is a performer in a Freak Show....The Mutant Barnyard...performing in the Garden of Unearthly Delights during the Festival Fringe in Adelaide. I saw the tent and it was advertised as a good 'ol Freak Show, a midget out the front with a megaphone spruiking for business. Instead I went to the "Badass Burlesque" in the tent next door.
Can you have it both ways?.....I'm a sensitive human being trying to challenge people's stereotypes of "little people"....and by the way...I work at the The Mutant Barnyard
Being witness to a happy idiot is a wonderful thing and Big Brother has given us Saxon for our bewildered amazement. Big Brother has outdone himself this year in presenting Saxon to us, an Uber happy idiot....a super moron...a spectacular imbecile...so pumped upped, so chuffed and so unaware that he is the town idiot.
Bear witness to his proud displays of illiteracy and cringeworthy crap RAP...
Here's a transcript of Saxon's rap..
I never had no money. Cause when I started rapping people like people said its funny that i'm trying to be something that I know that i'm not; I'm only young and having a go. I think its sick, that we're all oblivious to the truth, nuclear overload our children are hideous at youth. symbolic in status, they call me the maddest math-matis, the lyricly baddest, the sickest winner spitting suckrilifical sickness. you withheld the information needed we superseded on feeding the beast at least we get to witness the feast of mortals enter space portals brain malfunction, court corruption, they tighten the net, I've travelled to the safety of my orbitting jet, you respect my powers precision tractic to crush the spirit, hoping that you gonna fear it, yeah.
Fuck me Jesus what an amazing brain malfunction in the form of automatic dribbling that even Andre Breton would've been proud of. Andre Breton the Dadaist poet and precursor to Surrealism pioneered automatic writing ... a process where the writer isn't conscious of what thoughts he is writing.
Saxon isn't capable of considered thought processes, he has no cognitive prowess at all. But what he does have is the ability to prattle on in a stream of unconscious dribble, a blabbering fool spouting shit for the applause of the other stupid housemates.
Watching BB on Friday we were treated to trivial crapola so insignificant as to be totally mind numbing. The simplistic narrative revolved around one of life's certainties on Big Brother...the dumb blonde. This childish numbskull by the name of Brigitte needs her toy unicorn to be able to sleep. A bunch of water soaked dipshits conspire to steal the unicorn, thus hilarity should ensue?....or so believes the Channel 10 producer with a mind as sophisticated as a 12 year old at camp.
Channel 10 was misgiven that they could squeeze the unicorn story to get gold, instead of the shit that actually came out.
As this dull pantomine dragged it's feet my mind wandered off, as it does, thinking of unicorns...and ended up on Blade Runner, the movie based on Philip K Dick's book, "Do Androids dream of electric sheep?". A story of androids made more human than human, some of whom don't even know they are not real...implanted with false memories and even dreams.
Now getting back to Brigitte....is she real?, cause for the life of me, how could someone be that stupid and still be capable of drawing a breath? Even obvious reality perplexes her....her first lines in the BB house saw her questioning if the astroturf .... was it real grass? I'm convinced BB has a finally got a "world first"...in Brigitte as an android... a basic pleasure model as Pris was in Blade Runner. Brigitte is a fcukdoll to be used and discarded, as she isn't a real being.
The unicorn is the clue....you see in Blade Runner, the hero, Deckard ( Harrison Ford ) dreams of a Unicorn...only for his collegue to leave a small Unicorn for him to find....a way of saying to him, you are not a real person...your dreams were implanted into you. Likewise this android Brigitte is also bizarrely attached to a unicorn....a ficticious creature for a ficticious human.
The more closely I look at Android Brigitte, the more convinced I am she isn't real. Looking slightly more sophisticated that a blow up sex doll and just as articulate, Brigitte clutches onto her unicorn, her mundane dreams, her aspirations of becoming a human being, of having thoughts and even ideas.
Give Brigitte back her unicorn, let her sleep and allow her to dream of being real.
Meanwhile, congrats Big Brother...a world first... a lifelike android as a housemate!
Let me set the scene for you....... A hospital....in burst a pair of Ninjas carrying a midget dressed as a Martian who has a broken leg!
Doctor 1 " We get all the weird ones on Friday night"
Doctor 2 ( to Rima and the Ninjas ) "ok, what the hell were you guys playing at?"
Precisely...what the hell were you guys playing at...Big Brother? Any fool could see that the ramp was going to injure the Midget as she tumbled down. OH&S are f...wits if they oked it?
But that isn't what I'm really pissed off about.....It's time to go Kyle Sandilands, your decisions are becoming the ruination of BB. On the opening night your only cared about the old & little one staying because you had a big part of it happening.
Granny is gone, but you have found a way to bring her back...Rima is broken, but can you find a way to instantly mend the situation?...NO!
There was a perfectly good Homunculus that auditioned by the name of Jeremy ( pictured below ). Jeremy made it into the top 100, he's fit...in fact he's built like a mini brick shithouse and is as tough as nails.
Jeremy could've been drop kicked over the wall and into the Big Brother house and survived without a scratch, but no ....corrupt Kyle had a mate.... a mate who didn't even audition for BB.....Rima!....and she was given a golden ticket into the house and the f...wits at FNL were always going to kill her.
I call for the immediate sacking of Kyle Sandilands. ESS look as what this bloated buffoon has already cost you and cut your losses...!
During last night's Friday Night Live, Big Brother confirmed once and for all that the laws of gravity do indeed apply to midgets.
Rima the squirrel sized housemate was hoisted up 6 metres, or in midget metres - 12 metres from the ground and expected to survive the tumble down. Well, she nearly didn't.....In fact, so hurt was she that the cameras dared not show us the mess of twisted limbs that poor Rima had become. All we had was our imagination and the sickening groans emanating from outside the camera's view.
TV really showed us what arseholes are involved in the industry when all are instructed to go on with the show. Let's not care a fcuk about the poor unfortunate Rima, who in becoming injured is also rendered persona non gratis.
Even the housemates were instructed not to mention her very existence. Being compliant fools they allowed BB to represent them as self-interested callous cads.
Rima seems to have shrunk out of existence just like in the movie The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957 ). The Icredible Shrinking Man, an old favourite, was on a fortnight ago on ABC2. Entering a lurid mist the hero begins to shrink until he no longer is visible by any other human. Alone in the cosmos he eventually finds solace in himself.
Invisible, yet still existing somewhere is Rima....absent and ignored, the show must go on without her.
Just to reiterate Brainless & Doublethink have teamed up to bring you this blog and I have to thank Doublethink for allowing the syndication ( from BBBA ) and the posting of her previous posts here. I will continue to post my brainless ramblings on Big Brother here and Doublethink will also continue blogging at BBBA, but together, this marriage conceived in hell will raise all hell here.
One of my favourite movies is the disturbing & powerful Japanese classic The Ballad of Narayama (1958) by director Keisuke Kinoshita.
It came to mind whilst watching last night's first eviction and can you guess why?
The movie tells the story of an ancient Japanese custom where the young citizens of a remote Japanese villiage would carry their grandmothers when they turned a certain age to the snowy craggs of Mount Narayama. The no longer useful evicted elders would be left to die from exposure and starvation - a fate they were expected to meet with stoic resignation.
Such was the case last night on Big Brother when the small community was faced with the need to lessen their numbers. It started off with the usual bitchy and random picks of "you must go".
But that all ended when Nobbi ( a scholar of the ancient Japanese ways ) took to the stage....."Grandma Terri must die, allow me to carry her out" he said! The rest of the youthful members of Big Brother were suddenly stoked into logical action. Yes "Let's kill granny Terri....she's old" they chanted.
..and so it was to pass - Grandma gets the boot and Australia seeing the logic of Nobbi's ancient Japanese ways is now ready to re-embrace the Euthanasia debate with gusto!
Big Brother is at it's finest when the most exciting stuff happens outside of the house. In the last 24 hours we have seen the Launch of BB08, 2 new hosts, 14 new housemates and an eviction, but that pales into insignificance.
Midget Porn....that's right! the most exciting thing to come to Big Brother in 2008....Midget porn in the form of Rima the squirrel sized housemate who has a penchant for disrobing and showing the world what a midget Vag looks like. By all accounts she has one on her like a mouse's ear.
Meanwhile the ubiquitous slob Kyle Sandilands is so deluded and chuffed about the perceived success of the Launch Show that he is about to snap. He was seen straight after the Launch working his way down the corridor "high-fiving" the staff and when they ran out, he even high-fived his own reflection in the glass.
The legendary fathead is known to own a powder blue suit with a large V on the front. "I'm my own Viagra" Kyle would say to the mirror, then get hard and get it on. The unflappable buffoon was called into the producers room and told the bad news, that the Launch Show posted the lowest ratings ever for Big Brother. Unperturbed, Kyle ...true to form ignored rejection and left the meeting visibly erect.
Finally the most bizarre fact of all has come to light. Channel 10 has now employed a person to walk beside Kyle, whispering into his ear "Kyle, you are only a God in Australia".
Who really needs the Big Brother Freak Show when the world around it is far stranger.
Little by little Kyle steals our hopes and ransacks our dreams
To test Gretel's mettle a pair of imbeciles were given the chance to host Big Brother and to everyone's surprise, they did a far better job than her.
Kyle Sandilands, looking tired in the photo above is giving us the internationally acknowledged symbol of the "woni' with his hands. For those hindered by a lack of general knowledge... a "woni" is a symbolic representation of a vagina. Kyle is telling us he's a tired cunt. Jackie-O on the otherhand tells us in this photo that she is a slave to the male gaze. Teasingly receptive to it, she smiles to greet it, however her body is turned away as she carries on with her hand imbedded in the ruffles between her legs.
We were always given the image that Kyle was a cunt and Jackie-0 a self absorbed bimbo? Well that's true to a point, but they managed to put on a BB Launch Show that was well paced with as little hyperbolic crap & blatantly over advertorial hype as possible.
Kyle's job was easy, be yourself and try to look human. Kyle did look somewhat wooden, a stuffed wombat on stage startled by oncoming headlights...his left eye twitching uncontrollably for most the show, I was afraid the producers would shoot him with another tranquilliser dart.
Jackie-0's job was the hardest of all. Jackie's main role during the launch show was to re-aquaint us all on what a woman really looks like. After the many years of neglet and outright abuse of the female form that Gretel inflicted on us, it was delightful to see feminine beauty again.
A whole generation of Big Brother fans had never seen a female host look effortlessly beautiful whilst wearing something that perfectly suited her. Jackie-0 gets the Fred Hollows award for 2008....it was as if we were getting corrective eye surgery just by watching her.
Homunculus Rima is so small she could parachute out of a snake's arsehole... and still free fall for a short while before opening the chute.
Knowing that, Kyle Sandilands wanted Rima to parachute out of him for her entrance on tonight's Big Brother Launch Show. Occupational Health & Safety put the kibosh on that idea and Kyle sulked & threatened to quit in disgust with Channel 10's ethics.
Instead munchkin Rima will walk on stage tonight and straight into a scandal. It has come to light that Rima is a professional performer going by the name of Rima the Itty Bitty Belly Dancer (Red Door Burlesque)
Rima has been on Kyle's & Jackie's radio show before and if you want your very own little performance you can book Rima via the agency that manages her Click Here
Rima is such a regular performer that she could have the upperhand whilst on Big Brother? Click Here
I have been calling for a Homunculus on Big Brother for years and finally my prayers have been answered, however I can't help feel it's all a little tainted
Four other Midgets, who were not performers auditioned for Big Brother, but Kyle & Co. picked Rima who didn't audition, was a professional performer, worked with Kyle before and is savvy and confident in front of an audience & cameras.
I was the first to announce that indeed a Homunculus was going into Big Brother this year. Top of my list was this fighting little mite Jeremy, 23 of Victoria, who even made it into the top 100. But it seems as if Big Brother has just picked another promo model/wannabe performer from a talent agency instead of a real person like Jeremy?
Hearing that a Big Brother Housemate is a heavily tattooed trucker who believes in UFO's had me desperately wanting to know more. So I joined the "Tatts, Trucks & UFO's" forum and discovered what I believed to be his harrowing tale.
Here it is and in his own words.....
"I was late leaving Melbourne, my rig was fully loaded, I was heading to Adelaide and all I could think about is getting my next tatt...a unicorn with it's horn piercing my nipple. It was just like any other trip I had taken 3 No Doz, drank 14 Red Bulls, popped some speed to keep awake and at 2.30 AM a lime green giraffe overtook me near Kaniva, nothing out of the ordinary.
But I was about to cross the border and enter South Australia, strange things have been known to go on there and little was I to know what was going to happen to me. For the last 3 ghostly hours I have had a urge to have a shit, but suddenly the pressure really built up. I didn't want to stop, truckers have been known to leave their rig for a shit in SA and never come back.
Wiping the sweat from my brow, I pulled into the deserted Bordertown Roadhouse and ran to the concrete toilet block out back. Bursting in the blinding light hit me, I squinted as I hit the cubicle door with my pants half down and my bum pointing towards the porcelain.
It was then that I first felt it. No sooner had my turd stuck out like a turtles neck that I felt a stange force pushing it back in. I heaved harder and again some alien force was pushing it back in. Then I heard a chilling foreign alien voice say "excuse me sir.....I think you will find I was here first". Jumping up, I saw that I was sitting on the lap of an alien and the probe he had was at least 7 inches long.
He introduced himself as Klaatu and said he was from 3, Planet 3. When he said "would you like to explore Planet 3, I can make you see your Big Brother anytime", I freaked and made for my rig. My turd was lost somewhere between the toilet block and the first step of my rig as I ran screaming with my trousers around my ankles.
Back in the Adelaide depot, shit stained and trying to explain myself to the unbelievers I knew I had to find a way to get on TV and tell my story. It was then that I saw an ad calling for auditions for Big Brother.
Saxon "
There you have it, what a story! Truth is stranger than fiction
I had the great pleasure of seeing Todd Browning's "Freaks" ( 1932 ), soon after it was unbanned, some 50 years after being made. The movie was controversial because it used real "freaks" as actors, most memorably the pin-heads & the half-man. The movie was released at a time when "freaks" were hidden away and not discussed in polite society.
What's this got to do with Big Brother?..bear with me and I'll tell you. Big Brother 2008 is going to be a freak show. Some say it always was, but this year with the likes of the repulsive Travis and a Homunculus, BB has upped the ante.
Big Brother's previous series is similar to Freaks (1932), where the most repulsive people are also the most superficially beautiful. Check out the video clip below, pity about the dubbed music.
Society has moved on from shunning, humiliating and ridiculing the lesser fortunate souls amongst us to a position of understand and sympathy.
In the late sixties and early seventies John Waters made a series of movies where the "freaks" were not the deformed, but the fringe dwellers of society. Below is a clip from his "Multiple Maniacs", where Devine get's raped by a giant Lobster.
..and the notoriously subversive "Pink Flamingos"
Later in the 1980's, when Joseph Merrick in David Lynch's movie "The Elephant Man", is pursued into the public lavatories by an angry crowd he stands his ground and announces with dignity "I am not an animal, I am a human being" The way Big Brother is depicting the likes of the hideously annoying Travis is the complete opposite.
Big Brother Freak Show 08, lead by the bulbous and grotesque ringmaster Kyle Sandilands is a return to the past where freaks are presented for our amusement and ridiclule. Some say it's just Kyle deflecting attention away from his own depravity & physical anomalies? But I think the influence of the poorly educated moron Kyle is at fault. His exploitation of freaks for laughs is deplorable.
Travis is a freak, Travis is a proud moron, one who praises his worst assest as his best. No crime there, but Big Brother highlighting it in the promos is asking us to hate this fucker, to throw rotten fruit at him, to ridicule him, to laugh at him, to shout obscenities at the TV, to eventually punish him by rejection & eviction. A simple case of exploitation of the dumb who are not self aware.
Big Brother puts the spotlight on Travis, knowing this sub-human will proudly perform his deviant qualities for our amusement. Cringe TV has never been so devoid of ethics.
To end, I'll show you a work of art that uses a "freak" in it. It is by Joel-Peter Witkin a world renowned artist who is in the collection on many art musuems, such as the Museum of Modern Art. A sublime work that mixes beauty & repulsion. It is unlike Big brother which will have no beauty in it, just repulsion. In "Freaks" (1932) the most repulsive person in it is the normal beautiful woman. In John Water's movies the "freaks" made the movies about themselves as fringe dwellers of society. In the Elephant Man, Joseph Merrick is depicted with dignity. In Big Brother Freak Show 08, the freaks are presented for our amusement, revulsion. ridicule and hatred.
A recent Newspoll taken after the Cory Worthington incident asked the question "Should there be a return to legalised infanticide?" Surprisingly 89% of the people said yes. Now that Cory is mooted to be entering Big Brother it has risen to 95%.
Why is it that Australians want to kill this child?
The simple answer is that Australains detest him because Cory reminds them of their dull compromised lives. How dare Cory thumb his nose to the media, the police and his parents.
We all want to beat the bejesus out of him, but for what?...being a dumb irresponsible minor? That's exactly what he should be and I think good on him for doing what he did and getting away with it. It will be his one moment of glory riding the chaos and anarchy of the media circus and winning.
So what the fuck is Big Brother trying to do by getting him to enter the BB house in some ultra lame "Gatecrashers" event? Cory entering the Big Brother house is a mistake simply because it is a staged event. There will be no chaos, no anarchy... Cory will not trash the place, Cory will not do a single controversial thing.
It'll be the lamest publicity stunt ever on BB. Done purely for creating media interest with no desire to give us fans of BB anything worth watching. Cory at the best of times is an inarticulate dipshit with nothing to offer other than saying "fuck you" to the world and this is exactly what BB wont allow him to do.
I call on everyone to really give Big Brother a "Cory Worthington" moment. Let's start a SMS campaign to send thousands of unruly drunken kids to the Big Brother compound and try to gate crash the event. Let's wreck the place, let's wreck the "Gatecrashers" event, let's get arrested, let's have the media call for the show to be axed and also call for the producers to be sacked.
Let's cause anarchy, let's really cause some chaos in the spirit of Cory Worthington!
This poor bunny was feeling dejected of late, not finding the desire and motivation to scribble up rubbish for my own self amusement...that is until a chance meeting with an insane massively breasted fiesty woman by the name of Doublethink. So impressed I was with her insanity and shared infatuation with Homunculi that I instantly invited her to join this blog. She writes for the wonderful forum Behind Big Brother and will continue to do so.
Doublethink's blog posts on Behind Big Brother, I am pleased to announce will be syndicated here as well as new contributions by me Brainless....O' Happy Days!
I'll let Doublethink introduce herself and I'll post up her recent BBBA blogs to fill the gaps here.....
Greetings besotted Big Brother dribblers and welcome to Doublethink's blog.
Allow me to first indroduce myself.....Hello, I'm Doublethink and I am an Uber Bitch, malcontent, misanthropic feisty lover and all round bullshitter who .......flings it so freely.
A lunatic linguist, a monkey kisser a person capable of deconstucting popular culture and then reasembling it to resemble a Picasso. With Proustian attention to the trivial details and saddlebags full of big words, I'll ride the open range of long forgotten and uncharted metaphors to entertain, educate and beguile the unsuspecting readers into a sublime stupor that'll have them blinking and asking for more.
My name "Doublethink" comes from George Orwell's "Nineteen Eighty Four". Doublethink is the act of simultaneously and fervently holding two mutually contradictory beliefs.
According to the novel, Doublethink is: "The power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them . . . . To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then, when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just so long as it is needed, to deny the existence of objective reality and all the while to take account of the reality which one denies — all this is indispensably necessary. Even in using the word doublethink it is necessary to exercise doublethink. For by using the word one admits that one is tampering with reality; by a fresh act of doublethink one erases this knowledge; and so on indefinitely, with the lie always one leap ahead of the truth"
Over the coming months, with Brainless, I will illuminate the dear readers of this blog with concepts so bizarre it'll have you wondering of the state of my sanity. Fear not...as long as I'm medicated, you'll have nothing to fear?
I'm here to guide you through the insanity that is Big Brother 2008 and let me just state this right at the beginning...I already hate all the Big Brother Housemates, except if one is a Homunculus?.
Greetings and Salutations my fellow oblivion seekers. My friends and my enemies call me Brainless. I am a pink vinyl rabbit with a peg leg who cannot help but always bite the hand that feeds me. This has the result of making me lay awake at night, sobbing inconsolably into my pillow lamenting my petty crimes and misdemeanours.
Also on the writing team is Doublethink, an uber bitch with impressive mammeries who likes nothing more than to brawl in her undergarments.
Please remember, my dear readers, everything we write here is pure unadulterated bullshit for my own amusement and hopefully yours.
