This picture showing a bleary eyed Mike Goldman looking like a mangy Central Park squirrel and his gorgeous girlfriend Tanya was pinched as part of media fair trading from Mike's semi-literate BLOG.
Congratulations are in order for Mike and commiseration's for Tanya ;)
Rumour has it that Mike has booked the Big Brother Rewards Room for the honeymoon and Tanya will get to pick a prize from one of the three boxes. I just hope Mike doesn't just put a signed photo of himself in each one?
Greeting and salutations my fellow oblivion seekers. By some incredible piece of luck an acquaintance of the bunny was walking this afternoon through St Leonards Park in North Sydney when his desire to empty his bowels became overwhelming. Running to the nearest public toilet and leaping into the least filthy cubicle he managed to relieve himself just in time. Despite the stagnant rank air my friend took a moment to explore his surroundings, discovering a message on the toilet door that read "Why are you looking here? The joke's between your legs". However this isn't the interesting part of the story, this is.
At his feet he found a somewhat fragrant & smeared photographic document, a grid of a hundred people. Most had a red X next to them and only a few had green ticks. Puzzled by it's significance he went on his merry way for another block until on West St he passed the offices of Southern Star Endomel and wondered if there was a connection between this photo and the Big Brother show? So he did the right thing and scanned it for me to interpret and yes it does seem to be to be a list of the Big Brother Top 100 audtitionees. The markings, I believe to be who got into the next round of auditions and who didn't. But how did it get 2 blocks away and who at SSE prefers to use the public toilets to their immaculate crapper?
This we'll never know, but what we do know is that Big Brother sent emails out at 2pm today notifying 50 hopefuls of their ongoing chance of humiliation and the other 1,200+ auditionees got thin air punctuated by silence.
This document confirms the Homunculus made it to the next round, as well as some old bags, a milf ( Kim ), someone with a ridiculous name ( Sputnik ) and Peta. The rest were rejected outright. So much for their claims of letting the public have a say? Let alone expecting the top 50 out of the top 100 to get an interview? Nonetheless, I tend to agree with the choices on this mysterious and enlightening document. What do you make of it?
Greetings and Salutations my fellow oblivion seekers, I have it on good authority that the first Homunculus is on his way to Big Brother. The diminutive Kyle Sandilands personally stepped in to pick one of the three Homunculi auditioning this year to go to the next round of auditions. Jeremy, 23 of Victoria made it into the top 100 and will soon be reaching for the stars. You can check out this fighting mite's video here
The other 2 Homunculi, Christopher and Kevin barely registered on the collective psyche of the voting illiterati. All three should go in if you ask me. For years I have lobbied unsuccessfully for a Homunculus to enter the Big Brother house and now I am excited to the point of delirium that my dream is one small step closer to becoming a Reality TV reality. I'm also especially happy to justify the writing of the word Homunculus or it's plural 6 times in quick succession.
"I can't get my head around people wanting to watch wannabes simply sleeping or having insane conversations or, worse still, sitting up all night on the off-chance two idiots may have sex."
With these few words Sophia Loren, today became married to Big Brother. Married in a loose sense, not the holy matrimony kind. So don't expect later tonight the bulbous figure of Big Brother is going to climb onto the fragile 73 year old actress's frame and crack six of her ribs. No, it's not that kind of marriage....it's a marriage of association for the purpose of exploitation.
Sophia Loren stated her opinion....ooops sorry gotta call it by the correct media term "slammed Big Brother" (Celebrity news) and that was more than enough for the story to end up in the Adelaide Confidential promoting Big Brother. That's right promoting Big Brother?
"Somnambulistic wannabes, insane dialoge" watched by insomniacs, borderline perverts and panty-sniffers hoping to see "on the off-chance two idiots may have sex" is exactly the key words to build a puff piece around Big Brother Australia?
Greetings and Salutations my fellow oblivion seekers. My friends and my enemies call me Brainless. I am a pink vinyl rabbit with a peg leg who cannot help but always bite the hand that feeds me. The result of which ends up making me lay awake at night, sobbing inconsolably into my pillow lamenting my petty crimes and misdemeanours.
Out of sheer boredom and stupidity I have decided to join the world of blogging and what better subject than to make this Blog about?....... Big Brother Australia. Please remember, my dear readers, everything I write here is pure unadulterated bullshit for my own amusement and hopefully yours.
So here goes...
Big Brother 2008 Australia has come up with penny-pinching plan to fool the feeble minded amongst us, who for whatever reason, found it necessary to apply to be a housemate. Their smoke & mirrors campaign is aimed at making us all believe that we have a say in who gets selected. Yeah, right? like they're going to let some nutcase like me have a say? I wanted to apply as a housemate but those narrow minded bastards wouldn't let an inanimate object audition. Them's the breaks for being a pegged legged vinyl wabbit *cries*
And I wasn't the only inanimate object who wanted be in the Big Brother House. Woodman had a great video, but alas he also was deemed ineligible.
Anyway, the voting has already closed and the tallied numbers discarded. Instead SSE/Channel 10 will decide who gets in with the good 'ol traditional way of doing such things. At midnight tonight the staff at Big Brother will come in. A wall will be covered with the photos of all those auditioning. One by one the staff will take turns being blindfolded, spun and given a dart to throw. Medics will be standing by and before sunrise they'll have the top 50 to interview. A week later they'll pick the housemates from their "special list" of promo models that never auditioned.
Greetings and Salutations my fellow oblivion seekers. My friends and my enemies call me Brainless. I am a pink vinyl rabbit with a peg leg who cannot help but always bite the hand that feeds me. This has the result of making me lay awake at night, sobbing inconsolably into my pillow lamenting my petty crimes and misdemeanours.
Also on the writing team is Doublethink, an uber bitch with impressive mammeries who likes nothing more than to brawl in her undergarments.
Please remember, my dear readers, everything we write here is pure unadulterated bullshit for my own amusement and hopefully yours.
